I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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