Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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