I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
