My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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