That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
