We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
