i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
