I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
