I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
