I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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