I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
