Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
