i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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