he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
