Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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