How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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