K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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