is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize