i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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