Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize