So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dude i'm inner monologue high
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
