foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize