It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
