we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize