I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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