Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you win again, gameday.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
