what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My liver just had a heart attack.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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