Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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