i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
