Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
