Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
