I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
