Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
