A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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