everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
