There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
