i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My balls are so social today.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize