I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
