So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Ladies don't puke and tell
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize