Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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