When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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