Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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