dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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