We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
NoShamevember. You game?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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