Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
