Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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