just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
