you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
