If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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