whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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