this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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