omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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