I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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