HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
