I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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