My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
