did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
