how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
