it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
