Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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