very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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