accomplished twins. life is a go
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
